Kickin back

Oh to stay this carefree!

Freak out #2

This is another one of those posts I need just to vent just to myself. (Jed has heard it all too many times already; I would hate to live with me!) Don't feel the need to keep reading or comment.
I've got such mixed emotions right now. Ary's favorite and only sitter has been without work for much longer than we'd expected and is now returning. YAY for that part, even if it's not what and where he wants, at least it's something for now. BUT that means I would drop her off at daycare, which I get sick to think about, so my days at work are going to cut way back.
I am so excited to see more of the every day little things, but am almost upset to stop going to work every single day. (How dumb is that?!) I've committed Fridays to Dr. Graf forever, so at least I'll still keep my feet wet a little bit, but I'm honestly a little bit freaked out about not going to work all day every day. I've never NOT worked and don't want to let my brain turn to mush "just being a mom". Yes I hear how dumb this all sounds in my head, but I can't help but feel like I'm going to miss that part of my life! Plus I'm not even going to let myself think about insurance or being tight with money; I'm making more drama for myself about this than I should already...

Another reason I love Sundays

The weekly midafternoon naps always feel so good!

(P.S. check out the cleavage, hehe:))

Happy 8 months!

Today marks the eighth month that Ary has lived at our house. I'm not sure what this means about me, but I'm not one of those people who says "I can't even remember life without her" or "it feels like she's always been with us". Honestly, it still sometimes feels like someone is going to come and tell us that it's time to give her back and Jed and I will go back to just being dog people!
To celebrate, Ary had her usual nap in her unusual position,

had a gay ol' time in the bathtub,



and addressed us, her loyal subjects :).

Resolutions

So since this week's post I've decided that I'm going to stop feeling bad for myself. Ary is with the best people in the world (she LOVES her grandpa!), I love the people I work with, and Jed is going through school to better our situation in the long run.
I've read a few "resolution" blogs lately and I want to make some too. (Thanks Angie!) I figured if I post them on blogspot and people read it I'll want to hold myself more accountable. First, I resolve to make the most of my given situation, whatever or where ever it may be. We say it all the time, but it's true; life's too short to sweat the small stuff. Second, I resolve to choose my attitude. We choose how we respond to the people and happenings around us. I really am lucky and am going to remember to count my blessings!

What did I miss?

Ary is so fun lately. Her personality shows so much these days and I think it's adorable! Over the past little while I've been feeling a little bit bad for myself because I've worked more and seen less of her and her every day activity. So many of her most entertaining photos have been taken at her grandparents house:






Am I going to regret working during this time in her life later on? I tell myself that she won't even remember any of these moments; I don't remember anything before I was three and she probably won't either. I just find myself wondering if this is the best thing for all of us to be doing at this point in life. I don't know how a mom can stay home with a hubby still in school though, how do they get benefits like medical/dental insurance? and do they live on student loans or what?
I think a little part of this impromptu pity-party of mine is that Ary now realizes when I leave. The other day when I handed her over to Jed's mom she got some separation anxiety and it just about made me cry too to walk out the door. I posted last time about how I enjoy my job in ortho AND my job as a mother, which I really do, I just don't want to regret anything during this short time in my little girl's life.
I guess really I'm looking for a little advice or experience, either of how you make it work to be home with your babies when they are little or how you go to work without feeling like your missing out while someone else raises your child. ??

Nope, I'm not even going to apologize to myself for not blogging more. We all get so busy around the holidays and between Thanksgiving and New Year's I can almost bet I won't get around to it. As for right now, we're experiencing technical difficulties with the computer spontaneously shutting off so until we can get it fixed it's hit-and-miss for me to even get online.
Things around here are just the usual pre-Christmas break busy, but with some wedding stuff tossed in too. Mckenzi will recieve her endowments on the 22nd then get married on the 29th. I've been up a couple of times to help dip pretzels, stuff envelopes, fold paper puff balls, etc.. I think a vacation sounds good right about now too; I may have to hide in their luggage and go on my own honeymoon:).
Jed is done with school till January, then after this next semester will have to do some major schedule shuffling to fit in nursing school. It will be sad for him to leave Qwest when it comes to that, they've really taken care of us. It's been a long time since I've paid for school!
I am still enjoying the work/baby balance. I get so excited to come home and do all of the mom stuff, but get excited to be able to go to work and be in a different environment too. I always pictured myself as a stay-at-home mom; but I actually think I like having a little bit of both in my life because both jobs are so different.
Ary is of course still changing a little bit every day. Her new thing now is to push up on her knees so she's on all-fours. She can't get anywhere like that but just kind of wobbles for a minute before she goes back down on her belly. We'll have a crawler pretty soon it lookes like. Maybe I should use Christmas break to baby-proof the house. She loves to go diet coking with grandma Teresa

and shake it with grandma Mitz:)