This is another one of those posts I need just to vent just to myself. (Jed has heard it all too many times already; I would hate to live with me!) Don't feel the need to keep reading or comment.
I've got such mixed emotions right now. Ary's favorite and only sitter has been without work for much longer than we'd expected and is now returning. YAY for that part, even if it's not what and where he wants, at least it's something for now. BUT that means I would drop her off at daycare, which I get sick to think about, so my days at work are going to cut way back.
I am so excited to see more of the every day little things, but am almost upset to stop going to work every single day. (How dumb is that?!) I've committed Fridays to Dr. Graf forever, so at least I'll still keep my feet wet a little bit, but I'm honestly a little bit freaked out about not going to work all day every day. I've never NOT worked and don't want to let my brain turn to mush "just being a mom". Yes I hear how dumb this all sounds in my head, but I can't help but feel like I'm going to miss that part of my life! Plus I'm not even going to let myself think about insurance or being tight with money; I'm making more drama for myself about this than I should already...
1 comment:
It's OK to vent, that's what we're all here for. I also know you didn't invite comments, but ...
Change is usually never easy for most people, and this is a pretty big change for you, so it's OK for this big change to feel strange to you. BUT, that precious little girl is one of the most important things in your life right now; taking the very best care of her that you can should be one of your top priorities. You've probably heard this before, but when you're older/old/dead, you will NOT wish you had spent more time at work, you will wish you had spent more time with your family.
Take a deep breath (or another one), have another bowl of ice cream, and trust in the Lord and trust Jed; you three are a family unit, and the three of you will make it work. We are soooo lucky and blessed to have you as close to us as we do.
I told mom tonight that I'm going to have Ary withdrawls, I've gotten to cherish the time we spend together so much, but I'll have to cope with my change too. I only wish it was for a *real* job, but that will come too - have to have faith.
Hang in there dear, we have to believe we'll all adjust to these changes.
We love you.
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